Monday, May 13, 2013

Monday Morning Madness: May 13, 2013

Weekend Recap

Twins' starters combined for 2 strikeouts in 17 innings against the Orioles.  Yikes.  Baltimore doesn't strike out a lot as a team, but my goodness, 2 strikeouts in 17 innings?  The starters have to do better than that.  I get the whole pitch to contact, let the defense do their thing, battle, achieve success idea, but this is too extreme for me.  Strikeouts aren't everything and some pitchers can get away with low totals.  However, not many can get away with it for a long time.  Relying on batted balls to make over 95% of the team's outs is not a great long-term strategy. 

Joe Mauer is pretty good.  He went 8-12 this weekend, added two walks and stroked four doubles.  He went through a mini-slump a couple weeks back and I'm sure everyone was convinced that his career was over.  It wasn't.  Mauer now leads the offense in just about every possible category and is on pace for over 70 doubles.  Honestly, if he hit 70 doubles, it would not surprise me all that much. 

Wei-Yin Chen is left-handed.  Wei-Yin Chen is a soft-tosser.  Wei-Yin Chen pitched against the Twins on a Sunday afternoon.  Given this information, the next sentence could be predicted by a time-travelling space-ape with minor brain damage and a lot on his mind.  Wei-Yin Chen shut out the Twins for five innings and won on Sunday.  Chen left the game with an oblique injury, likely from repeatedly making the "two hands clasped together, shaking triumphantly over each shoulder, back and forth" gesture too frequently.

Manny Machado is really good.  #analysis

Random Plug

Grant Brisbee is fantastic.  He writes for Baseball Nation of SB Nation and also for McCovey Chronicles of SB Nation.  While he primarily writes about the San Francisco Giants, he does also post some general baseball thoughts.  This week, he posted some "scouting reports" that he found from the newly released Hall of Fame scouting reports.  They are extremely clever and hilarious.  If you haven't read them yet, you really should.  

Random Photoshop

Prior to that post, I had planned to send a "thank you" card of sorts to Brisbee, for all the fun articles I have enjoyed over the years.  So, I made this photoshop of The Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album cover, with Hunter Pence's head in place of all the people on the cover.  The results are terrifying and fascinating.  Enjoy:

Former Twin

Here's a sad tweet:

Well, the Edgar Gonzalez part is nice for him, but Philip Humber getting DFA'ed is too bad.  Since his perfect game last season, Humber has been pretty awful.  He was once a major part of the package that the Twins acquired for Johan Santana and now he is probably worse than Santana and Santana isn't even playing.  He might get one more chance, but getting released by the Astros is not promising.

My response to a hypothetical Facebook Question

Q:  Two days in a row without Hicks (Aaron Hicks). How are they going to score runs without his bat in the lineup? Hahahahha.

A:  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  That is freaking hilarious!  I mean, how are they going to score without one of their worst offensive players, right?  Right?!?  Right?!!?!??!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!  This is fantastic.  Ignore the fact that Hicks is one of the most promising players on the team and just focus on the fact that he hasn't done well in one month of play.  AHHAHAHAHAH.

But seriously, I'm sure you will love Hicks when he's playing well.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Fun Baseball Card from the past

Why do big glasses look so odd, but big sunglasses are pretty much standard?  What do you think, Max Venable?

Yeah, I don't get it either.

Fun Stat

The Twins pitcher with the most strikeouts in a game versus the Orioles?  Johan Santana, with 14 on September 19, 2004.  He struck out seven times the amount of Orioles as Twins' starters struck out this whole weekend.  Never forget:  Johan Santana was cool/awesome.

Link to something I wrote

I decided to recap each of the last 25 Twins drafts, leading up to the 2013 draft in June.  I posted 1988 on Sunday, and you can read it here.  It's a hoot.  Do you remember Johnny Ard?  Neither did I.  Cool.

Link to something stupid I wrote

For some odd reason, I decided to start a Facebook Group.  There is currently one "like" and probably some (like 7?) more to come.  Once I reach 50 "likes" I will give away my prized Gary Wayne 1991 Score baseball card.  If that prize isn't worth clicking a button and enduring countless annoying Facebook updates, then I don't know what is.  You can find it here:  Kevin Slowey was Facebooked!

Parting Haiku

Joe loves to double
Anything less is trouble
Home run allergy

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