Monday Morning Madness: April 7, 2014

OHHHHH man, the Madness has returned.  Normally, a return of my madness would be concerning, but in this case, it's a good thing.  Every Monday I'll recap the Twins' weekend series and throw in some silly stuff at the end for the kids.  Come for the analysis, stay for some muted chuckles.  Let's go!

Weekend Recap

Hey cool, the Twins looked pretty good this weekend.  After dropping two of three to a ratty White Sox team, they won two of three against a decent Cleveland team.  How did it happen?  Let's discuss.

Starting Pitching

Twins starters managed just 14.1 innings against the Indians over the weekend.  Mike Pelfrey pitched well through five innings but got rocked by two home runs in the sixth.  Kyle Gibson pitched well, earning the win, but he only made it through 5 innings.  He walked four batters and needed 97 pitches to get through those five innings.  Ricky Nolasco was the worst of the three, getting staked to a 6-2 lead heading into the fourth.  He gave up three in the bottom of the fourth and didn't return for the fifth.  He needed 91 pitches to get through his four bad innings and he walked four batters as well.  Twins starters walked 11 batters in those 14.1 innings against Cleveland, while striking out just 7.  Not good.

I fully expect the starting pitching to improve, but it's borderline shocking that the Twins are 3-3 when they've only received one good start (Kevin Correia in game 2 of the season) and they lost that game. 

Bullpen

The short starts from the Twins' rotation lead to a lot of work from the Twins' bullpen.  As a whole, they didn't perform well.  Brian Duensing was great on Saturday, Jared Burton allowed runners but no runs and Glen Perkins shut down Cleveland 1-2-3 in Sunday's game.  However, Casey Fien got rocked on Friday and Caleb Thielbar wasn't much better.  Perkins had a sloppy inning on Saturday in a non-save situation.  Anthony Swarzak gave up 5 hits in 1.1 innings on Sunday.  His ERA sits at 20.25 after 2.2 innings this season.  He did get the win on Sunday, so he must have done something right. 

I also expect the bullpen to be better.  It makes you wonder if this team could actually be even better than they have looked so far.  The pitching wasn't supposed to be their weakness. 

Of course, I have little to say about the offense because they played well.  The Twins scored 19 runs in the Cleveland series after scoring 19 the White Sox series.  In fact, the Twins lead the AL in runs scored.  Of course, they also lead the AL in runs allowed.  Their 0 run differential confirms their .500 record, right?  Pythag!

The Gardy 1000

Congratulations to Ron Gardenhire on his 1000th (and 1001st) career victory!  Whether you think Gardenhire should be managing the Twins in 2014 or not, it's hard to not be happy for the Twins' long-time manager.  He led our favorite team to six playoff appearances and who knows, maybe he's got a few more planned for the future.  1000 wins is no small feat, so way to go, Gardy!  Here's to 1000 more.

Madness

Random Top 5 List - AL RBI Leaders

That looks pretty great, doesn't it?  RBI is a passé stat, but it's still cool to see a Twins player at the top of the list.  The choice to bring Colabello North was obviously the right choice.  With injuries to Oswaldo Arcia and Josh Willingham, I can't imagine that Colabello gets a day off anytime soon.  He earned his roster spot in Spring and now he's earning his spot in the lineup on an everyday basis.  If he continues to hit, he'll stay in the lineup even longer.  Could he top 100 RBI on the season?  I think it's possible. 

KWL - Jason Bartlett from the Twins fan perspective

Question from a reader - Glen Perkins had a shaky Spring, and hasn't been terribly sharp thus far in the young season.   How concerned are you about this? - @whitebear1883 on Twitter

I'm not very worried.  This question was sent to me prior to the Sunday game and Perkins' performance in that game certainly put any worries I may have had to ease.  All great relievers go through rough patches and Perkins will be no different.  It would be great if he got the bad stuff out of the way and could just dominate from now until the end of the year.  He's talented enough to do it.  From what I've watched so far, his stuff still looks great and his velocity seems to be intact.  I'll guess that he's sporting a sick 2.00ish ERA by June. 

Former Twin Update - Kevin Slowey

Hearken back to 2011; I'm going to tell you a tale...

Are you in '11 mode yet?

Ok, Kevin Slowey will still be an effective MLB pitcher and Scott Baker and Nick Blackburn will both essentially be jobless.  Yep, the same Kevin Slowey who apparently bit the heads off of parakeets while pitching for the Twins.  He's on the Marlins.  Yes, they're still a team.  I promise they are.  Why would I lie?  Yes, there is a giant colorful statue in the bleachers. 

Slowey made the team as a starter in 2013 but will work as the swingman in 2014.  He's off to a good start too.  Ok, he's only pitched in one game, but he did go four innings, giving up just three hits and no runs, while striking out five and walking two.  For a guy who couldn't get loose in the Twins' bullpen, he's been pretty good in relief with the Marlins over the past two seasons.  Maybe he just didn't like the trees at Target Field. 

New Poll

I get a little repetitive at times.  I harp on things.  I have my pet causes.  I put up a new poll to try to get out in front of my own repetition.  Please vote in the poll that sits below Kevin Slowey's face as a baseball.  It's important to democracy.

Link to Something I wrote - Mailbag

I'm shameless when it comes to promoting things I've written in the past.  Why, just recently I've promoted my newest screenplay, an analysis of the 1991 Twins dancing video and some player profiles I wrote throughout the Winter.  Now, I'm not here to promote those items, I'm here to promote the fake mailbag I wrote last Friday.  I answered some truly insightful questions and I think you just might enjoy it.  Here you go. 

Parting Haiku

Twins are .500
But it is a long season
Still a happy fan

Have a great week, everyone!

February Mailbag!!!!!

I'm not really one to brag, but this mailbag is starting to take on a life of its own. I have not one, not two, not three, but FOUR questions from people who are not me.  Sure, three of those questions are from the same person, but who are you to pick nits?  In fact, what would you do?  Wha-wha-wha-what would you do?  I know what I'm going to do.  Answer these questions:

I really enjoy reading your blog - keep up the good work!  Anyway, I saw something that the Twins intend to ship (Andrew) Albers to a Korean team for cash considerations.  Why would the Twins ship their Minor League pitcher of the year, and one of their most promising young prospects off for nothing?  Seems kind of crazy for me.

Emailer, Webspace

First, thank you very much for the positive feedback.  I really do appreciate it.  I take very little about this blog seriously, but the nice things that people say are truly valued.  I also appreciate the constructive criticism.  The invitations to shove "x" into or up "y" are not quite as cool, but I have a strict policy in my life to consider everything.  So...Albers...right!

On the surface, it makes almost zero sense.  Albers might have been the best human interest story of the 2013 season.  His first two starts didn't come with the fanfare of Kyle Gibson's debut, but Albers delivered A+ results.  However, after those first two starts, Albers managed just a 5.70 ERA in 8 starts.  He barely averaged 5 innings, gave up 58 hits and only managed 21 strikeouts.  Albers isn't a strikeout pitcher, but a strikeout every other inning is paltry, if we're being kind.

Then, you have to consider the fact that the Twins likely have just one spot open in the rotation, with Ricky Nolasco, Phil Hughes, Kevin Correia and Mike Pelfrey already penciled in.  That left Albers, Vance Worley, Scott Diamond, Kyle Gibson and Sam Deduno to battle for the fifth spot.  Albers would likely have been near the bottom of that list, so the Twins did him a solid and let him pursue a season in Korea where he'll get to pitch and maybe build himself some value for an MLB return.  I imagine that when he is ready to come back to the Majors, the Twins and Albers will be mutually interested. 

Although I cannot read your mailbag before it is posted, I have a follow-up to a question I am guessing you will answer about Andrew Albers.  If you could ship one Twins player to Korea, who would it be and why?  Thanks, big fan - 

Is this Airplane?  Well, the ideal candidate signed with the Phillies, so he's out.  If I'm going to start selling humans, I'd prefer to make a big score and get out of the game ASAP.  Thus, I'm selfishly selling Joe Mauer to Korea for 25 million bucks.  I'd have all the money I need to live or at least all the money I'd need to get myself a sweet one-hour documentary about wasting a fortune in a short period of time.  I'd be hated in Minnesota and likely in the U.S., but I could just build a gold wall to keep angry people away.  I'd also build a catapult, but that's just for fun. 

Here's a three-pack from @TalktoContact, the always entertaining Twins podcast.  Follow them on Twitter and listen to their podcast.  If you do, I will be your friend.

Which current Twin forecasted to make the 25-man roster is the edgiest?  Does anyone have attitude?  Grit?

Edge.  Attitude.  Grit.  I can't find these words in Excel.  I literally have no idea how to sort these columns.  I'm going to try to answer this anyway.  I'm not sure that anyone has "grit" or "edge" but I do think that some of these players have "Minnesota Grit," a term I just invented that some will certainly find offensive.  Brian Dozier and Trevor Plouffe had long hair, so that counts.  Sam Deduno eats necklaces, so he's got MG (Minnesota Grit, acronyms sell, baby!). 

Typically, these terms are used to try to attach value to an otherwise valueless player because he plays really hard.  Or, it's used to describe the guy on the team who is most likely to mix his chaw with sunflower seeds and dirt from the infield.  I don't think the Twins have one of those guys, so I'll go with Sam Deduno and his own version of pica. 

How is it possible that Gardy and Rick Anderson both still have their jobs?

Why is Anderson Andy?  I wish he was Ricky.  Gardy and Ricky has a nice ring.  Gardy and Andy is a mouthful.  Seriously, say it out loud right now.  Now try yelling it.  Is your boss coming over? 

Anyway, I think they have their jobs because it is very hard to pinpoint why the Twins currently suck.  Well, that's not fully true.  They suck because they don't have a lot of talent.  In my opinion, you fire a coach or coaches when a team performs poorly relative to their talent level.  If the talent level is low and the team performs at a low level, then the World makes sense.  If the talent level is high and the team performs at a low level, then heads should roll.  The Twins have a few talented players, but they don't have a talented team.

Firing Gardy would be a symbolic move or a move that panders to those who think that "something has to change."  Terry Ryan would be blaming the poor performance of his untalented roster on the manager, which might or might not be justifiable.  If the Twins want to make a symbolic or pandering move, that is their prerogative.  I just don't think that type of move would fix the issues with the team.   Of course, the team is getting better, which brings us to...

What would have to happen for Gardy to get fired during the 2014 campaign?  What about AFTER the season?

For Gardy to get fired during the season, he'd have to lose the clubhouse.  There would have to be negative and troubling reports in the papers and on prominent blogs (read: not this one).  He would have to get publicly questioned by a good player and since the Twins don't have a lot of good players, this would be quite difficult.  Gardy is a players' manager, so I don't see this scenario playing out. 

For Gardy to get fired after the season, the Twins would have to lose another 96 games (or more).  That symbolic, pandering move I mentioned earlier?  That would look pretty good to the Front Office after another terrible season.  If it meant that Terry Ryan and other prominent members of the Front Office could keep their jobs, then I think they would fire Gardy for self-preservation.  I know I would.  In fact, if my company told me, "you need to fire Ron Gardenhire, or we'll find a new teacher to take your place," I'd do it immediately.  It would be unprecedented.  For the record, I think the Twins will win 70-75 games in 2014 and Gardy will keep his job.  This is all on the record.

Is Josmil Pinto Chris Parmelee?  Thanks, I love reading.

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

That question is confusing.  I think it needs a comma...or a dash...or a hyphen...or something else...

This obviously refers to each player having crazy hot Septembers and bringing hot, crazy expectations with them to Spring Training the next year.  It seems that some are fearful that Pinto will flop in his season-starting debut, much like Parmelee did.  I get it.  However, we're talking apples and oranges here.  These are two completely different players.  It isn't even about their talent or performance or pedigree or what have you.  It's as simple as the fact that they are two completely different human beings with different DNA and genes and pheromones and everything. 

There are a billion examples of a player having a good September call-up and then being a good player going forward.  There are a billion examples of a player having a terrible September call-up and then being a good player going forward.  You can mix and match good with terrible in those phrases all you like.  In fact, I'm creating a turn-based iPhone app for that very purpose.  Boring Words with Friends. 

The fact remains that each player is an individual.  So, no, Pinto is not Parmelee.  He's Pinto.  And you know what, that's pretty neat. 

Are you excited for pitchers and catchers?  I know I am.

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Not to disagree with myself a loyal reader, but no, not really.  I know this is the symbolic start of the baseball season, but it's not a real start of the baseball season.  I love playing catch, I kind of love watching pros play catch, but I'm not a fan of reading about players playing catch.  Once the actual Spring Training games get going, I'll be excited for about an hour.  Then some scrub like Gloob Newstrom will step up to the plate wearing number 87 and I'll remember why I never make it through a full Spring Training game. 

I'm excited for Opening Day in April though.  Sorry to be such a bummer.  It's part of my new plan to end every post on a bummer. 

NOT!  Here's a rare photo of Ron Gardenhire in concert:

Oh, evenflow.  Have a great weekend, everyone!

Minnesota Twins October Mailbag!!!!!

I can't believe that October is upon us!  The 2013 season went by so quickly.  I am already enjoying playoff baseball and I thought that while I enjoy playoff baseball, I could answer a few questions that have been burning a hole in my inbox.  As always, these are actual questions from actual readers of the Word documents that I use to compose my rough drafts.

What is your outlook for the 2014 Twins?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Initially, I thought that 2014 would be that year when the team starts to get good.  I kind of envisioned a 2001 Twins team of sorts, where they are better than they had been, but still not good enough to make the playoffs.  My expectations have changed a bit, mostly because the Major League team was so bad in the second half of 2013.

However, I do hold out hope that the 2014 Twins could win 75-81 games.  A lot depends on what the Twins do in free agency and with trades this off-season.  If they can make some smart trades and pick up a piece or two, I think a 10-15 game improvement is possible.  The Twins were 36-45 after 81 games.  That 72-win pace doesn't meet my 75-81 number, but it shows that for half of the season, the Twins weren't terrible, they were just bad. 

Of course, the second half did happen and they only won 30 more games, for a 60-win pace.  With a healthy Joe Mauer (hopefully), natural development from rookies like Oswaldo Arcia, Josmil Pinto, Aaron Hicks and Kyle Gibson, and the Twins' solid bullpen, I think the team can be a lot better than they were in 2013.  If the Front Office picks up a good starting pitcher, then I really do think that 81 wins is possible. 

Likely?  No.

Brad, you are my idle.  I kneed to know, who are you rooting for in the playoffs?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

I tend to root for fan bases instead of teams.  I am a fan, not a team.  So, I usually gravitate toward the teams with the most tortured fan base.  Generally, I pull for the team with the longest championship drought.

I do have some exceptions though: 

• I can't openly root for New York, Boston, Chicago or Los Angeles.  Those fan bases have too many other successful teams in other sports.  So, the Red Sox and Dodgers are out. 
• I don't care for the Tomahawk Chop, so the Braves are out.  It's a political stance I suppose, but really I just find it annoying. 
• The Cardinals won a World Series like five days ago, so they're out. 

• Technically, the Tigers have the longest World Series drought of all the AL teams.  They also have a player on their team who I am not fond of.  He shall remain nameless, in case his family reads this.  Let's just say, I've heard things.  Unpleasant things.
• The Rays have never won a World Series, so they seem like the logical pick.  However, their fans are kind of sucky and the team hasn't been around very long. 

That leaves the Pirates in the NL and Oakland in the AL.  Pittsburgh fits because they have a tortured fan base.  Although, it is worth mentioning that the Steelers and Penguins have been really good the past decade.  A Pittsburgh-Oakland World Series would be an advertiser's nightmare, but I would eat it up.  I love how rowdy the Oakland fans are.  Plus, have you been to Oakland?  Would you go back?  Let's give them something to enjoy.

I can only assume that some other idiot will ask you who you are rooting for in the playoffs, but I want to know who you think will win the 2013 World Series.  Mostly so I can point out how wrong you were when it doesn't happen.

Brad S's Mom, St. Paul, MN

I'll start by eliminating teams for arbitrary reasons:

• Tigers - Miguel Cabrera is hurt
• Red Sox - Clam chowder is gross
• A's - Moneyball
• Pirates - Tired of plundering
• Cardinals - They're old?  They're probably old.
• Braves - Tomahawk chop again

That leaves the Rays and the Dodgers.  I like the Dodgers because they have Clayton Kershaw and I like the Rays because they are the smartest team in the history of civilization and they embrace math.  If I was going to send my child to a school run by one of these teams, I'd pick the Rays.  This isn't school!  It's baseball, nerd!  The Dodgers win because they know how to be cool.  Yasiel Puig and whatnot.

Do you know any talking pumas who also write about the Twins?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

I actually did meet some talking pumas recently.  In fact, I convinced each of them to write a Twins' 2013 season summary.  Paul is an eternal optimist and you can read his review here.  Peter says he's more realistic, but sometimes I think he's just negative.  You can read his review here.  If you enjoy their opinions, check in with my blog as I am working out twin 8 year, $184 million contracts for Paul and Peter to contribute regularly. 

The Twins outrighted Cole De Vries, Shairon Martis, Clete Thomas and Josh Roenicke from the 40-man roster earlier this week.  Who will be joining them on the wrong side of the 40-man before the start of 2014?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Those four guys are a good start.  You won't regret losing any of them, if another team is doing a bunch of drugs and decides to claim them.  If I had to guess, I'd say that the following fellows will be joining them at some point in the near future:  B.J. Hermsen, Eric Fryer, Doug Bernier, and Darin Mastroianni.  It's not a huge list and it's probably incomplete.  I think that if the Twins need roster spots, there are plenty of other guys who could be gone.  Mike Pelfrey shouldn't be retained, but who knows?  There are plenty of replaceable guys on this team, that's why they haven't eclipsed 66 wins since 2010. 

Are you surprised that Ron Gardenhire will manage the Twins in 2014?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Not in the least.  The Twins organization is very loyal and I think we all know that at this point.  In some ways, it's a heelish move.   I think the general fan attitude was that a change was needed or "heads should roll" if you prefer ancient justice to tactful sentiments.  It could be that the team made this decision to stick it to the fans.  More likely, it seems that this was a move made out of loyalty. 

I guess that's fine.  It's not the statement that I would try to make though.  If I had been the GM, here's how I would have handled Gardy's extension.

• Step 1 - Announce that the team has a new manager, but that he prefers to work under a mask
• Step 2 - Introduce said manager at an elaborate press conference
• Step 3 - Invite a fan to shake hands with the new manager at the press conference
• Step 4 - After the handshake, crush the fan over the head with the Golden Septor
• Step 5 - Call for the new manager to unmask, revealing Ron Gardenhire, but with a shaved head and black goatee
• Step 6 - Mudhole stomp the fan for 3-5 minutes, with Rick Anderson helping stomp the mudhole
• Step 7 - Declare Gardenhire the "Macho King" Ron Gardenhire and proceed with the season as such

For me, that's just a better way to do things.  I hate to question the Front Office though.  I'm a traditionalist.

Thanks for all the questions!  If you ever truly want to ask me a question, you can send me an email at this fancy new email address:  kevinsloweywasframed@gmail.com.  Or, you can send me spam like everyone else.  

Monday Morning Madness: September 30, 2013

It's been said that all good things must come to an end.  Sadly, this will be the final Monday Madness of the 2013 season.  I know.  Don't blame me though; I'm not the one who decided against a 12 month MLB season.  It's time for a break from Twins baseball.  After the month of September that we've all endured, a little break might not be the worst thing.  I'll try to infuse some fun and positivity in this final Monday Madness of the 2013 season.

The Gardy 1000

Well, that was a huge embarrassing failure.  Wait, I said I'd be positive.  Um.  The Twins made a valiant effort to get Ron Gardenhire his 1000th career win.  They needed to go 3-4 this week and they only missed it by 2 games.  Two isn't bad.  That's only about 1% of a season.  It's such a small sample. 

Josmil Pinto

Here's some real positivity.  Josmil Pinto had a wonderful September debut.  In fact, only Chris Parmelee has had a better September debut than Pinto, when looking at OPS and only including players with 50 plate appearances in September.  We can ignore the Parmelee part, but knowing that Pinto looks good makes me feel good about next season.  Having Pinto gives the Twins more options at catcher.  If the Twins can enjoy another  3-5 years of above-average offensive production from their catcher, the rebuild will be somewhat easier.

Mike Pelfrey

A recent Terry Ryan interview shocked and awed everyone when he admitted that he was interested in bringing Mike Pelfrey back for the 2014 season.  Pelfrey hasn't been a highlight of the 2013 season.  He's been one of the more frustrating players for me to watch.  He dug himself a big hole in April and May; did he dig out of it?

	April	May	June	July	August	September
ERA	7.66	5.90	4.66	3.25	3.60	7.45
WHIP	1.93	1.66	1.24	1.34	1.40	1.86
K%	6.5	14.5	15.4	18.1	14.4	21.3
BB%	6.5	9.2	2.6	7.8	10.5	7.5
K:BB Ratio	1.0	1.58	6.00	2.33	1.38	2.86
BABIP	.370	.337	.333	.309	.279	.431
LOB%	54.7	69.1	62.0	83.3	74.7	56.2
xFIP	5.57	5.11	3.18	4.45	4.74	3.63

Well, kind of.  In April and May he was a disaster.  In June, he was pretty good.  He didn't walk anyone, but he was a bit unlucky so his ERA wasn't great.  In July, he was worse, but had some strand rate luck and looked better than he actually was.  He was pretty bad in August, but finally got some good BABIP luck.  In September, he's been pretty poor again, but has a crazy high BABIP and has been generally unpleasant to watch.  Basically, he's been really inconsistent.  The only reason to sign a guy like Pelfrey for another year would be if you could rely on him for consistently decent innings.  The Twins can't rely on him for that.  Cut him loose.  Oh, and dig up, stupid. 

Madness

Fun Stat

Anthony Swarzak threw 96 innings this season without starting a single game.  This has only happened 461 times since 1901.  Juan Berenguer accomplished this feat in 1989 and 1990 and no one had done it in a Twins' uniform since then.  No one in baseball had done this since 2006, when Scott Proctor threw 102.1 innings without starting.  Swarzak is a rare bird, especially in this current era.

Random Paint Image

The Playoffs are starting this week and that means National Coverage.  No more Dick and Bert, no more Coom-dog, no more Anthony LaPanda.  Here's a dramatization of what I think could happen during the TBS studio show, if things really fall apart.

Look, if you don't get that reference, then you clearly didn't watch as much Comedy Central as I did as a kid and you don't think Dennis Eckersley looks like a certain watermelon-smashing comedian like I do.  And really, that's your problem.

Former Twin Update - Francisco Liriano

Francisco Liriano finished the 2013 season with 16 wins and an ERA just slightly above 3.  He has been one of the major reasons why the Pirates season is still in progress.  In fact, he'll start the Wild Card game on Tuesday against the Reds and their lefty-heavy lineup.  Lefties have hit .131/.175/.146 against Liriano in 138 plate appearances this season.  Before the season, who would have ever thought that Francisco Liriano would be starting a playoff game in 2013?

Answer to a Hypothetical Facebook Question

Nope, not today.  It's impossible to find anything positive on the Twins Facebook page.  It's my problem really.  I only go there for this bit, so it only affects me once a week at most.  I can handle complaints.  I can handle negativity.  I can't handle hostility.  There isn't a single Twins fan who has any right to be hostile.  No one should be calling Joe Mauer a wimp.  No one should be calling for Gardy and Anderson to be hit with bricks.  Since 99% of the Facebook comments are hostile, I'm not doing it today.

Instead, I asked my 8-year-old cousin to give his thoughts on the Twins' 2013 season:

"It was really fun.  I actually got to go to two games!   They won the second game!"

Off-season Plans

Monday Madness is ending for the year, but I've got loads of off-season stuff planned.   I've got recaps, pumas, predictions, previews, video games, candy, treats, ice cream, lobster and much, much more.  This week, I've got two guest columnists doing season recaps and I have a mailbag coming on Friday.  I'm going to try to have some fun this off-season, if you want to join me.

Parting Thought

The Twins 2013 season was unpleasant.  The franchise is in a better place than it was in 2012, but there is still a lot of work to be done.  I'll do as much work as the Twins allow me, but a more likely scenario would involve the Twins' current decision makers working to improve the team.  I have confidence.  I think that strides were made this year that weren't seen on the field.  If the organization continues down a similar path, I believe the Twins will be a good team in the near future.  I've always held that 2014 will be the first year in the on-field turnaround and I stand by that.  I really feel that we just suffered through the last 90-loss season for awhile.  If I'm wrong, you can all hurl tomatoes at me when I run on the field during a 2015 game. 

Have a nice week, everyone!

Monday Morning Madness: September 23, 2013

Twins/A's Recap

The word "bludgeoned" gets thrown around so often... 

The Gardy 1000

Is this going to happen?  Going into this week, the Twins needed to go 4-10 to finish the season "strong" and give Ron Gardenhire 1000 career wins.  As bad as the Twins have been, that seemed reasonable.  Star wipe to today and the Twins need to go 3-4 in their last seven to pull it off.  Yikes.  Anything short of a Spaghetti Jesus miracle and I don't see it happening.  If Cleveland can somehow wrap up a playoff spot early this week, then it's possible.  I don't see that happening though.  Maybe we can convince MLB to add games to the schedule?  I'll start a petition.  Just let me find my megaphone.

The two sides of Oswaldo Arcia

We got to see both Good Arcia and Bad Arcia over the weekend.  He hit two home runs in the Oakland series and generally looked good at the plate.  On Friday he put on some sort of reverse clinic in the outfield, misplaying a couple of balls and generally looking like a future DH.  He also slid feet-first into first base on Sunday, which was confusing, but entertaining.   

He's young, so he'll make mistakes.  His defense has been inconsistent, but he seems athletic enough to get better.  His offense has been pretty good, as he has a 104 wRC+ as a rookie with little experience above AA.  His strikeout rate is a bit high and his walk rate is a bit low, specifically compared to his own Minor League numbers.  If he can even those rates out and continue to add power, he'll be spectacular.  He's 22.

Rosario back to outfield?

While on ESPN 1500 over the weekend, Rob Antony mentioned that Eddie Rosario might be moved back to the outfield, depending on a few factors.  My hope would be that this decision is based entirely on how Rosario performs as a second baseman and has nothing to do with Brian Dozier.  As much as Dozier has improved this year, he is still an average offensive player.  His 99 OPS+ this season proves that.  Defensively, Dozier will likely always be better than Rosario.  Offensively, Rosario could be special.  I like Dozier, but I'm not quite ready to pencil him into the lineup for the next five years.  I would hope that the Twins aren't making any decisions based on the current roster because it could still be 2-3 years before the team is truly good. 

MADNESS

Fun Stat/Possibly Wild Theory

Since integration in 1947, only 56 pitchers have provided 45.5 WAR or more.  Why 45.5?  Brad Radke's career WAR was 45.5.  He retired at 33, as we all know/cry about to this day.  Only two of those 56 pitchers retired younger than Radke:  Don Drysdale and Sandy Koufax.  Is it possible that Brad Radke was the most underrated pitcher of his era?  Or, am I just blinded by our shared first name?  Here is the entire list of 56.  Looking at all the names, it seems that most of these guys are properly rated as great pitchers.  I'm not sure Radke is, at least not outside of Minnesota.  Just thinking out loud here.   

Random Plug - Punto Oral History

How the H did I miss this?  This is like nine months old and I just found it this week.  Anyway, it's hilarious and I figured that if I missed it, others probably did as well.  It's an oral history of Nick Punto sliding headfirst into first base.  It is eminently quotable.  If you missed it, you have to read it.  GET MONEY!

Random Paint Image

I'm plagiarizing myself a bit, but here's an image I drew of Johan Santana and Bartolo Colon to immortalize the robbery that was the 2005 Cy Young Award.

The biggest tragedy of all is that Colon is still pitching and Santana might have to retire.  Unfair.

Former Twins Update - Rangers

On Saturday night, Matt Garza started for the Rangers.  He was outstanding for eight innings, but gave up a lead-off home run to Eric Hosmer in the 9th.  He was relieved by Joe Nathan, who hammered down the save and helped the Rangers to remain a half-game out of the Wild Card.  He was met at the mound by A.J. Pierzynski, who caught the game.  It was a former Twin explosion!

ROAD TO 1000!!!!!

Last week, we discussed Jamey Carroll's quest for 1000 hits and Ron Gardenhire's quest for 1000 wins.  Gardy's week didn't go well, as I discussed earlier.  Carroll had a tough week of his own.  He entered the week with 999 career hits.  He had zero hits this week.  Of course, he had zero at bats too.  That's rough.  The Royals should get eliminated from the Wild Card race this week.  Perhaps when their fate is sealed, they'll let Carroll take a crack or two at the roundest of all round numbers.

Link to Something I wrote

I traveled through time to have a AOL Instant Messenger conversation with my 12-year-old self.  It was intense.  I really gave myself the business for being behind the curve when it comes to sabermetrics.  It was almost as if I hadn't heard of Moneyball in 1993.  Idiot!  Anyway, if you missed this scientific marvel, you can read it here. 

Parting Thought

One more week.  As horrible and painful as the last few weeks have been as a Twins fan, the next six months are going to be just as tough.  There won't be any Twins baseball to watch, but there will be news of "improvements" to the team.  I hope the off-season is more eventful than the regular season was.  I always enter the off-season optimistic and I hope my blind faith is rewarded with some shrewd moves.  If nothing else, I won't have to see my favorite team get waxed 11-0 for a little while. 

Have a great week, everyone!

Monday Morning Madness: September 16, 2013

Twins/Rays Recap

Well, the end was certainly shocking.  The Twins were shut out in the first two games against the Rays and were in the process of being shut out on Sunday, when they decided to score a bunch of runs in the 7th and 8th innings.  The dagger was Josmil Pinto's three-run bomb with two outs in the 8th, which effectively decided the game.  It's fitting that Pinto would provide the most exciting play of the series, as he's been one of the few players actually worth watching this September.  The win was insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but did bring Ron Gardenhire within 4 wins of 1000.  More on that...

Ron Gardenhire's 1000 wins

Back in October 2010, the Twins had just finished a 94-win season and celebrated a sixth division title during the past decade.  Ron Gardenhire had lead the team to all six titles, in his nine years as manager.  He had never won fewer than 79 games, and had averaged just over 89 wins per season.  His 803 career wins put him in striking distance of that beautiful round number of 1000.  If you had told me that Gardenhire would be the manager for the next three seasons, I would have guessed that he'd have obliterated the 1000 mark and had probably gotten within shootin' range of 1100 - the next beautiful round number.

Instead, Gardenhire needs to go 4-10 in the Twins' last 14 games to reach the 1000-win milestone.  The Twins were 6-8 in their past 14 games, so it seems likely that they can pull off this feat.    

While it seems likely he will get to the milestone, how did we even get to the point where that is in question?  In 2010, 1000 wins seemed like a lock, so long as Gardenhire wanted to keep managing the Twins.  Unfortunately, the team has fallen so dramatically that Gardenhire might not average the 66 wins per season that he would have needed back in 2010 to reach that round 1000 figure in 2013.  Of course, back in 2010, there didn't seem to be a three-year endpoint.  However, I'm quite certain that we've reached the point where these 14 games are his last 14 chances to get to 1000 wins. 

The Twins have three games in Chicago this week.  Those are all winnable games.  Their final eleven games after the Chicago series include seven against division leaders (four at Oakland and three at home against Detroit).  Their final four games are at home against Cleveland, a team contending for one of the AL Wild Card slots.  Those non-Chicago teams all have better talent and more reasons to play hard.  The Twins might be fighting simply to reward their long-term manager with a round amount of wins during what appears to be his swansong season. 

If the Twins can manage a 4-10 record, Gardenhire will win his 1000 games, but it won't save his job.  I don't blame the last three seasons on Gardenhire.  He won as many games as anyone would have won with this roster.  However, it seems his time has come.  The Twins will change managers and move on from Gardenhire.  When they get better in the next couple seasons (and they will), it won't be because they changed their manager. 

Ron Gardenhire proved that he can lead a talented team to a lot of wins.  He also proved that he can't take an untalented roster and make magic.  He has his strengths and he has his weaknesses, but overall, he is a good manager.  Above all else, I know that I enjoyed the Gardenhire era.  I'm not sure I can ask for much more as a fan.   

Ahhhhhhhh so much depression, time for fun and madness!

Former Twin - Jamey Carroll

I assumed that when the Royals bought Jamey Carroll from the Twins, he would propel them to a Championship.  He still could, but it doesn't look good.  He's posted a .097/.167/.161 triple slash in 37 PA.  Of course, his -9 OPS+ would still be good for third on the Twins.  Kidding!  But for real, his career is probably over.  He needs one more hit to get to 1000.  Round!

Fun with the number 1000!

In honor of Gardenhire and Carroll aiming for their 1000 of something, here are some fun 1000 facts that I found.  I was going to write 1000 fun facts, but I was busy photoshopping Twins player heads onto animal bodies (more on that below).

• Dee Fondy and Birdie Tebbetts each had exactly 1000 career hits!
• Darryl Strawberry ended his career with exactly 1000 career RBI.  He's the only guy with that quantity!!
• Jorge Posada and Bucky Harris are the only players with exactly 1000 singles!!!
• No one has exactly 1000 career runs.  No one!!!!
• On the pitching side, Tom Browning and Ralph Terry have exactly 1000 strikeouts!!!!!
• And finally, former Twin Jim Hoey ended his career with a 1000 ERA!!!!!!

One of those statements is a lie. 

Baseball Card from the Past

Look at how young Gardy looks:

This was right after his rookie season in 1981.  His hair is tremendous.  If he was willing to grow his hair out like that right now, I'd extend him for 30 seasons. 

Facebook Question

Q:  Do we have to watch a nightmare happen its not as if the coach of the staff cares at this point. They Con MLB into having ALLSTAR game here.

A:  It appears this question was written by a malcontent robot Twins fan.  As such, I will respond to his question in his native language:

0111100101101111011101010010000001110011011101010110001101101011

Poll Results/New Poll

I took a screen grab this time!

The Clete Thomas of GMs is vague.  It depends on what you think of Clete Thomas, right?  Those three people who thought they would be amazing as GMs are really confident.  I voted for "bad."  I'd be bad as a GM.  I'd base far too many decisions on animal pun potential and hair length.  I'll post a new poll at some point.  When I do, please try to vote. 

Link to Something I wrote - Animals play baseball

As I alluded to earlier, I photoshopped a bunch of Twins player heads on animal bodies.  Here's one to get you interested:

If you want to know why this exists, what context this falls into, and if your favorite Twin made the cut, just click here!  You'll be somewhat glad you did.

Parting thought - Jumping on a Bandwagon

I'm running out of things to say about this team.  They're bad.  Yep, we know.  One thing though - I'm officially in the shut Joe Mauer down camp.  There's no sense in having him risk more brain damage to win a couple of meaningless games.  The team is a lot less fun to watch with Mauer in the clubhouse or at home, but his long-term recovery is worth 14 additional boring games in late September. 

Have a great week, everyone!