I love baseball! I love music! There isn't a whole lot of baseball music. There's Centerfield, by John Fogerty, but that song makes me want to quit baseball and music altogether. However, there are ways to loosely tie baseball and music together. One idea that I had was to create a game where a series of players' names are used to try to get you to guess a band. So, I decided to do just that.
I took 11 words from one band's song titles and found baseball player names to match. I only used the names that came up at Baseball Reference. Some are nicknames, but accepted nicknames or something. Like Boof, but not Rocket. Now, the words aren't full song titles, so it's a bit more challenging. I didn't use partial words or anything like that. This should be fair, after all. But, let's face it, no one is going to read this anyway, so what does it really matter? I won't reveal the band name but you can guess in the comments. The winner receives a billion points, which is a lot.
For each player, I will give a fun fact that I find. Fun facts are fun, so enjoy and cherish them.
Player - Brad Hand - Brad Hand has a silly name. I mean, Brad?
Band - Pearl Jam - Song - Severed Hand
Of course not.
Candy Maldonado - Candy Maldonado is the inspiration for this exercise, so blame him if you hate it. I was listening to a song, the word Candy was in it, so of course I thought of Candy Maldonado and here we are. Maldonado is one of those players with a name I remember, but I can't remember anything else. I think he played for the Indians (right), I think he played right field (right), and I think he was ok (partially right). He had 34 career stolen bases and 33 career caught stealing. He never hit over .300. I can't find any information about whether or not he loved candy.
Jeff King - Jeff King broke out with 30 home runs in 1996. He was 31 years old and the Pirates totally bought it. They traded him that off-season. Jeff King was born in Indiana, played high school ball in Colorado and went to the University of Arkansas. He was the first overall pick in 1986. He was selected ahead of Matt Williams, Kevin Brown, Gary Sheffield and Derek Parks, to name a few.
Clyde Kluttz - Clyde Kluttz has a hilarious name.
Gregory Maddux - Is this a clue?!? Why did I call him Gregory?!? ?!?!? I feel that Gregory Maddux is the greatest player ever to be a pitcher. Yep. When you add his defense, his willingness to discuss the fact that chicks dig the long ball and his glasses, it all adds up. Plus, I always suspected that he had chronically chapped lips.
Andy Fox - Andy Fox's middle name is Junipero. Fox had a negative career WAR. He has won not one, but two World Series, likely single-handedly, but I refuse to look it up. He also has the single season record for hits by pitch in the Arizona Diamondbacks franchise. He's tall.
Jack Burns - Jack Burns' nickname is Slug. If I had to guess, he received this nickname because he would die if salt touched him.
Rick Down - Rick Down is the only player on this list to never play an MLB game. He spent parts of 8 seasons in the Minor Leagues. He went to Southgate High School in Southgate, Michigan. He is the only person ever drafted from that school, which is a lot more than you've ever done. Sorry, that was uncalled for. I get upset when people make fun of Rick Down.
Huston Street - Huston Street is kind of pretty. Maybe that isn't want you want to read, but I am legally obligated to report the truth. He is also a pretty good reliever, when healthy. He has a great walk rate and a great strikeout rate. He gives up some fly balls, but plays in Petco, so it's all good! He finished 23rd in MVP voting in 2005 before plummeting to 25th in MVP voting in 2009.
Russell Martin - In 2007, Russell Martin won me a fantasy baseball league. He stole 21 bases, hit 19 BOMBS! and hit .293. I will be indebted to Martin, until the time comes when I can return the favor and win a fantasy league for him. This will require a lot of bionic-ness and Martin should not hold his breath.
Lucky Wright - Lucky Wright was lucky enough to play five games in the Majors. He started four of those games. He was lucky enough to win zero of those games. He somehow gave up 16 runs, but only 10 were earned. That's probably pretty lucky. He is buried in the Tontogany Cemetery in Tontogany, Ohio and that seems like information that doesn't need to be on his Baseball Reference page.
Bonnie Hollingsworth - Bonnie is a girl's name.
Red Bird - Red Bird pitched one career game. He went 5 innings, struck out 2, walked 1, gave up 5 hits and 3 earned runs. His career WAR is 0.0. He then pitched 7 minor league seasons, never getting another MLB game. I guess that's just how that bird sings.
Ok folks, which band have I hidden in an array of player names? Remember, the winner receives a billion points. So take this seriously. DON'T GOOGLE IT! Bing is fine because it probably won't work.
Brad Swanson is a blogger with too much free time. He enjoys writing things as fast as he can.