Kevin Slowey was named the Miami Marlins' fifth starter recently. He joins a rotation with such stars as Ricky Nolasco, Nathan Eovaldi, Wade LeBlanc and Henderson Alvarez. He is probably keeping the slot warm for Jacob Turner, Brad Hand and possibly Jose Fernandez. I'm not really interested in analyzing the move. Six people have requested more paint pictures, and I am happy to oblige. Here is how Slowey and manager Mike Redmond celebrated this news:
I'll always love Slowey unconditionally, so I'll keep a constant Slowey update at the top of this blog. I shall call them Slopdates, which is Slowey updates. A million points if you can figure out why Redmond is portrayed using that color.