Friday, September 13, 2013

Forgotten Twins? John Moses

My memories of John Moses

John Moses was a more notable former Twin to me than to just about anyone else in the World.  The reason why comes from my Grandmother.  She thought I looked like him.  I remember being told that as a child and it confused me as an adult.  Of course, I looked back at some images of myself from childhood, and you be the judge:

Perhaps she had a point.  As far as remembering John Moses as a player:  who knows?  He wasn't very good and he wasn't a Twin for very long.  And, apparently I looked like him.  Other than that, he was just some guy. 

Therefore, we need to research!

Wow, Moses played eleven seasons, three with the Twins!  I thought he was just a one- or two-year wonder.  I know squat.  For his career, he posted a .254/.313/.333 triple slash, but in that awful 80s hitting era, that worked out to a 187 OPS+.  Moses wasn't a show-off like some other players.  He saved home runs for special occasions, hitting one per season, with a career high three in 1986 and 1987.  He lead the AL in caught stealing in 1986 with 18.  Black ink!

Moses was a Twin from 1988-1990, narrowly missing out on Championships at both ends.  What luck!

Moses has one of those sweet, easy-to-read one paragraph Wikipedia pages.  Again, not a show-off.  Essentially, we can learn that Moses was in fact a former baseball player and that he did spend a lot of time coaching after playing.  There was a lot more information about his coaching days, so that probably says a lot about his playing career.  Not mentioned in the text of his page is the fact that he was a member of the 1980 Arizona Wildcats College World Series Champions.  This was the biggest story in sports in 1980, so that's pretty cool.  He played with Craig Lefferts, Casey Candaele and future MLB manager/chipmunk Terry Francona (who was MVP).   

Googling John Moses is like googling a bunch of random letters.  There are results, but most are irrelevant or nonsense.  I did find this blog though.  The author was counting down the 81 most forgettable Twins.  He stopped at 46.  It's an interesting concept, but incomplete.  If I start a Kickstarter to help this guy finish the list, who will contribute?  I'll kick in 4 bucks.  That's half of my net worth, so help out, others.  For what it's worth, John Moses checked in at 74, right in front of Bernardo Brito (El Pupo) at 75.  What a list!  I just want to know who number 1 was going to be!

Bing is Google, so the results are exactly the same.  However, I did find a John Moses who was the 22nd Governor of North Dakota and a John Moses, comedian.  According to the comedian's website, he had "the one album from 2012 you should get by a comedian you probably never heard of."  I can't decide if that's a backhanded compliment or not.  A compliment is a compliment, as I have come to learn.

Bing images brings back a lot of old dudes, many holding guns.  There are quite a few mug shots too.  There are very few images of our John Moses, but I did find this amazing notebook sketch that was probably drawn by a scout when Moses was a youngster.  Amazing; such impressive detail!

Hmm, lots of assorted baseball cards.  Some are autographed, some are not.

This listing is pretty incredible.  It's so odd because I was just thinking of going to eBay and looking for 3 baseball cards.  I didn't care what year, what kind, who, anything, I just want three baseball cards.  Lucky me. 

Wait, jackpot!  I found an autographed John Moses card from when he was a coach with the Albuquerque Isotopes.  It's just six bucks shipped.  It's pretty much one of a kind.  He looks really happy too. 

Side note:  Wasn't Albuquerque the potential destination for the Springfield Isotopes?  Isn't that why Homer went on his hunger strike?  Was Homer's strike all for naught?  Why does no one tell me these things?!?


This John Moses has a Facebook page.  He comes without exceptions.  He seems to be incapable of looking at a camera.  It's a disorder.  John Moses the singer has 439 likes and John Moses the comedian has 227 likes.  It's clear:  singing > comedy.  Our John Moses does not have a Facebook page.  There is a Moses John who is from Minneapolis.  Perhaps our John Moses was just too famous to have a Facebook page, so he flipped his name.


John Moses the comedian has twitter.  He's the only comedian on twitter.  He doesn't tan, he roasts!   See, roast has a double meaning.  Here's a link to roast's definition.  But seriously, he is very kind, as you'll see below.  Sadly, for my purposes, he's getting in the way of real John Moses research.  Luckily, this MN Twins Zealot has a fun John Moses Fact:

Black ink!  Also, if you are interested, this guy is giving away a John Moses card: 

I wonder if he's had any luck finding a taker...

Nope.  Of course, it's only been about three and a half months, so give it time.  Or, act fast.  Actually, I'd give it time, you might be able to milk a few more cards out of the deal.
YouTube is devoid of John Moses the baseball player.  There are some party videos from John Moses, former Governor...  There's more from John Moses, comedian and John Moses, singer, but nothing from John Moses, baseball player.  

Here's what I can't figure out.  There are quite a few results for Ying Yang Twins songs when I search John Moses.  Is this some sort of default setting on my account?  Do I have the "if no results, then Ying Yang Twins" setting enabled?  If so, can someone help me turn it off?  It's not what I want.

Random Person

Who's more random than one of the other John Moses's?  I sent him a Tweet, just to see if he was aware of his namesake. 

Success!  This should have been obvious to me.  If there was a Brad Swanson in the Majors when I was a kid, I'd have heard of him and I'd have every single card.  I'd have four of every card.  I was a very self-involved child.  Unfortunately, this was the only famous Brad Swanson.

Not the same.


John Moses has been forgotten by the vast majority of us.  It's sad but true.  John Moses the comedian and I might be the only people left who remembers John Moses the player.  In reality, there isn't room in this world for all these John Moses's.  There's a singer, a comedian, a former Governor and a former baseball player/coach.  It's too much.  However, if I ever wanted to start some form of Baseball Cabaret, I could do a lot worse than John Moses. 

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