Friday, October 5, 2012

Playoff Predictions with My Wife (Borat Voice)

I decided that I could predict the playoffs just like everyone else in the World.  Or, I could ask my wife Liz, what she thinks.  Liz knows a lot about baseball, way more than most.  She also has a lot of crazy ideas and a bit of attention-deficit disorder.  She is self-proclaimed to be "eccentric."  Anyway, I decided to get her opinion on the series and write her thoughts.  She gets off topic in an extremely effective manner and some of her thoughts are often completely unrelated to anything that is asked.  That being said, she does know a lot about baseball.  Trust me.  It doesn't always come through in print.  She knows less about answering my questions properly. 

So, basically, from here on out, these are her thoughts.  My own predictions and notes will be in bold, with no analysis, as I have no fun opinions.

AL first.

Wild Card Game  - Baltimore v. Texas

Can I just say, it's really cool that the As made the playoffs, with their $52 million dollar roster.  Baseball is the only sport that would work in.  Its Moneyball style.

Snake.  I liked all the cool gestures they made last year.  Let's hope Hamilton doesn't get in trouble again and/or caught with 'roids.  (Note:  Liz thinks everyone is on roids)  My prediction:  Texas

ALDS - New York v. Texas

New York

Hmm, that's a tough one.  I'm gonna go Yanks.  I'm not too happy about it though.  After the playoffs last year, I had a real loyalty for Texas, who knew?  Yanks have deep pockets and they are cocky.  They have Jeets and ARod.  My prediction:  Texas  

ALDS - Oakland v. Detroit


Who cares?  I guess Detroit, right?  Fielder.  Cabrera.  Two fatties equals two good hitters.  Detroit 
needs something, right?  They lost LeBron, who got caught with a bunch of drugs or something. (Note:  What?!?  She doesn't know much about basketball.)  My prediction:  Detroit

ALCS - New York v Detroit


Let's go Detroit.  The Yankees are kind of over.  They need some fresh blood.  They kind of lost the pizzazz.  People aren't feeling them, myself include.  Although, I did like Robinson Cano, but I haven't heard anything about him since the hitting competition (Note:  Huh?).  Ah, the Home-Run Derby, the lameness.  Why Detroit?  Two fatties - see above.  Don't they have a Yank?  Whatshisname?  I can see him...  Older, dark hair.  Seriously?  (Note:  No clue).  My prediction:  

NL Next.

Wild Card Game - Atlanta v St Louis


Ugh.  I don't like either.  I don't even know who plays on either team.  Is Atlanta still the Braves?  Isn't that not PC?  (Note:  I might have overstated her baseball knowledge).  I seriously don't know.  St. Louis lost McGwire and they lost the coach (Note:  Tony LaRussa).  Wait, McGwire doesn't play for them anymore?  Who is their hitter?  Hmm.  I guess we'll go with the Braves.  Seriously, who plays for St. Louis, or the Braves?  My prediction:  Atlanta

NLDS - Washington v Altlanta


Washington, duh.  Harper, did they hold Strasburg for the playoffs?  I only know about that saga because I had him on my fantasy team (Note - She finished 3rd of 12).  Did they end up saving him?  (Note:  No).  Well, whateves.  Let's hope Bryce Harper shoots his mouth off at the media again.  That's a clown question, bro.  My prediction:  Washington

NLDS - Cincinnati v San Francisco

San Francisco

(Note:  Still trying to figure out that Yankee player.  Not figuring it out, thinks she made it up).  Giants.  Do they still have that stoner?  (Note:  Lincecum?)  Plus, my parents, you know.  (Note:  You don't know, but her parents live in Santa Cruz.  Also, we have an update on the Yankee player - Matt Damon.  Still getting there.  Ok, its Johnny Damon).  I'm too old-school to know these new players.  I miss Damon and McGwire.  I don't really care much about this one.  
My prediction:  San Francisco

NLCS - Washington v San Francisco


Washington.  No hesitation.  I'm not really that big in the Giants.  Washington has a couple players I've heard of.  I feel like they are getting a lot of buzz, I want to ride that wave.  Harper seems kind of frat-boyish.  (Note:  He did not go to college).  This would have been easier to talk about if hockey wasn't gone.  I'm taking that very hard.  Plus, football has all the buzz right now.  Kluwe took his shirt off for a magazine, so there's that.  Plus, Frank is pawing me.  (Note:  Our dog).  My prediction:  San Francisco

World Series - Detroit v Washington


Throwing a curve-ball.  I can't really see them winning 3 years in a row.  Plus, as a first-born, I am all about fairness and Cabrera just won a bunch of stuff and shouldn't be allowed to win more.  I don't feel super confident about Texas though.  (Note:  She is fully aware she picked against Texas earlier.  She just thinks they will make it, despite her earlier picks.  Nothing magical I believe, but just that they will win a series she thinks they won't.  If that makes sense) 

(Note:  While we were working on this, the news of the Twins' coaching staff changes came out)

Whoa, the Twins fired all their coaches but one.  Did they fire the fat pitching coach so I don't have to watch him go out to the mound?  No, just the guy who stands at first and the guy at third.  (Note:  Bored with this, she now posted some stuff on Facebook)

I really just like the Snake.  We need to start a softball league again, so I can do all those moves.  Ok, I thought we were getting some ice cream tonight.  I usually just guess a team without much rationale behind it.  Usually it comes down to the least fat players or coaches.  That is the beauty of it.  My prediction:  Texas

I'm very excited for these playoffs.  I think having teams like Baltimore, Oakland and Washington makes the playoffs a lot more exciting.  When teams come back to the playoffs after long absences, they really win my heart.  I hope that one of those teams plays another of those teams in the World Series.

I tend to think that San Francisco and Texas will meet in a rematch from 2010.  I love San Francisco's pitching and I love the balance of Texas's team.  I think this is the year Texas wins the whole thing.  This seems odd, since they just collapsed to lose the division.  However, that could be a wake-up call as well.  I don't trust the Yankees against good pitching and I don't trust Detroit against a good offense.  The National League teams are all pretty even.  I'd like Washington a lot better with Strasburg. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed our analysis.  This was meant to be fun, so my apologies to any player that was disparaged by Liz.  If you are interested in her opinions, we are planning to start a blog with some undetermined topics and ideas.  Just give me a call if you want the url.

Who do you think will win "it all" this year?

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