8 Years of Minnesota Twins Center Fielders: Part 1

Eduardo Escobar is the Twins' starting center fielder.  Well, not really, but he was yesterday.  Before him, it had been Sam Fuld.  Yep, Sam Fuld.  On a scale of 1-10, how aware of Sam Fuld were you about a month ago?  I'd say I was a 2 and I have MLB player flash cards that I practice every night.  Aaron Hicks has had another disastrous April, but he appears to have a safe hold on the starting job because...well, he's the only option.  No intended slight in Fuld's direction, Hicks's direction or #Eddie400's direction, but how did the Twins get to this point?  Why is this position in such shambles?

The journey actually begins back in 2007, Fuld's rookie season with the Chicago Cubs.  The Twins had just wrapped up a disappointing 79-83 season.  While no one liked that outcome, the Twins had made the playoffs in four of the previous five seasons.  A blip on the radar, but not the end of the World.  During that 2007 season, Torii Hunter completed his ninth consecutive season as the Twins' starting center fielder.  He had one of his finest seasons to that point, hitting .287/.334/.505 with 45 doubles, 28 home runs and 107 RBI.  According to Baseball Reference, he was a 4-win player.  Not bad. 

However, Hunter was also finishing his most recent contract with the Twins and had just turned 32.  The Twins wanted Hunter back, but they didn't want him back at any cost.  We know with relative certainty that they offered Hunter a 3 year, $45 million contract and Hunter turned that down, seeking a longer deal.  There were also murmurs that Hunter didn't want to play on the Metrodome turf any longer and/or he preferred a warmer climate.  He got all of those things at once when he signed with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim for 5 years and around $90 million.  

This left the the Twins in need of a center fielder for the first time in nearly a decade. 

Should the Twins have done more to keep Hunter?  That's a debate for a different Reusse column time.  In fact, it's become an irrelevant detail.  The fact remained, Hunter was gone and the Twins needed someone to replace him.  The obvious in-house choice was Denard Span.  Span was the Twins' 2002 first-round pick and he had a lot of Minor League experience.  What he didn't have was a ton of Minor League success, as he had just hit .267/.323/.355 in 139 games with AAA Rochester in 2007.  The Twins had used a first-round pick on Ben Revere in June of 2007, but he was just a teenager and nowhere near ready for the Majors.  

While Span could have certainly made the leap to the Majors and learned on the job, the Twins were hopeful to contend for the AL Central in 2008 and a young guy with no MLB experience and little MiLB success didn't feel like a great option.  The Twins lost Hunter, their best offensive player in 2007, so replacing him with a massive question mark was a risky move at best.   Of course, as Spring Training approached, Span seemed to be the obvious choice to replace Hunter.  It seemed he was even Hunter's choice to replace him, if that mattered at all.

Luckily for the Twins, their best pitcher was going to be a free agent after the 2008 season.  Please make sure to re-read that last sentence with as much sarcasm as you possibly can.  Johan Santana was coming off of his fifth-straight top ten Cy Young finish, having won the award in 2004 and 2006.  His contract was running out and the Twins were not going to sign him to the massive contract he had earned.  Thus, they started looking for suitors and they wanted a young center fielder in return. 

The Yankees were reportedly offering a package that included Melky Cabrera.  The Red Sox were willing to trade Jacoby Ellsbury, but they wouldn't include Jon Lester in the same deal.  One idiot blogger (read: me) thought that the Dodgers were offering Matt Kemp.  Those deals didn't come together and instead, the Twins chose a package from the Mets that included center fielder Carlos Gomez.  In fact, Gomez was one of the cornerstones of the deal, a then 22-year-old speedster with great fielding ability and the type of elite talent that allows a player to make his MLB debut at just 21. 

With the acquisition of Gomez, the 2008 Twins had a little Spring Training battle on their hands.  Span and Gomez were each given ample time to prove their worth to the club.  Span outplayed Gomez, had more Minor League experience and was an older and more mature player.  Thus, you can only guess that Span won the job out of Spring Training. 

Well, you're a terrible guesser.  The Twins chose Gomez.  

The cynic in anyone would say that they chose Gomez to justify the Santana trade.   Whether or not that was true is another irrelevant detail.  Gomez was given the center field job and the leadoff spot in the order despite a complete lack of plate discipline.  Of course, no one will argue that Gomez wasn't the more dynamic fielder and athlete.  Span was sent to AAA, although an injury to Michael Cuddyer would lead to Span's MLB debut in early April anyway.  Span was only up as long as Cuddyer was hurt.  On April 24, with Span hitting .258/.324/.258, he was sent back to AAA and Gomez, then hitting .242/.258/.352 continued his first season with the Twins.

Fast forward to the end of June.  Span is murdering AAA pitching to the tune of .340/.434/.481 and Gomez has on OBP under .300.  Logically, this would be the time to swap center fielders right?  Well, Michael Cuddyer's fingers just wouldn't heal.  He was back on the disabled list and now being transferred to the 60-day DL.  Span would be in his place shortly thereafter.  Now both center fielders were playing!  The Twins could continue to "develop" Gomez and see what they have in Span.  

Related, but unrelated, the Twins used another first-round pick on a center fielder earlier that June, drafting Aaron Hicks with the 14th overall pick.  Of course, his is a tale for another day.    

By the end of the 2008 season, both Span and Gomez had improved on their April performances.  Gomez finished with a 77 OPS+, 33 stolen bases and downright excellent defense in center.  Span hit .294/.387/.432 with 18 steals of his own, great defense in right and a sixth place AL Rookie of the Year finish.  While Gomez had improved, he was mostly a mess at the plate.  His strikeout-to-walk ratio was nearly six, which is impressive in an "ate a whole cheese wheel" kind of way.  Span was clearly the better player at this point in time and probably the front-runner for the 2009 center field job.  

Would Span assume the starting role in 2009?  Now a year removed from the Johan Santana trade, would the Twins have license to send Gomez down to AAA for a little while?  Will we hear from Revere and Hicks again?  This saga will continue next week as get closer and closer to Sam Fuld's dynamic Twins debut.  

Very Quick Analysis of Ron Gardenhire's Quote Regarding Matty Guerrier

Ok, Matt Guerrier is back with the Twins.  Whatever.  He's old, he's not very good but he did play here once and that seems to be enough for Ron Gardenhire and the Twins' front office.  I just read Mike Berardino's article on the Guerrier promotion and a quote from Ron Gardenhire stood out enough that I just couldn't resist presenting my thoughts.  Here's the quote:

“Tough to do. We like what we saw,” Twins manager Ron Gardenhire said of Darnell. “He understands it’s just something we have to do to take Matty Guerrier up here and see what happens. The guy has worked very hard. He’s got good stuff. We’ll see how he fits in our bullpen, and we’ll work our way from there.”

Ok.  The fact that Logan Darnell got sent back to AAA doesn't break my heart.  He was fine in very limited duty.  He's been fine at AAA.  He probably deserves to be on the Twins more than Guerrier, but this isn't a travesty.

That quote is a travesty because it's complete nonsense.  He might as well have said: "Well, we had to send Darnelly down to AAA because I'm starting a crash diet and I need extra spinach.  The spinach will taste really great, but it's going to be hard giving up pizza.  When we go out to the movies, we'll probably get an extra seat for our coats.  If that happens, we will pay for an extra ticket.  It's only fair.  My kids haven't called lately, but then, I haven't called them either.  I found someone's watch on the credenza today.  If I knew who left it there, I'd return it.  I once saw a goat who was giving this weird look to a bird and we'll work our way from there."

As far as I'm concerned, that fake quote was just as logical as what Gardenhire said.  I understand that he doesn't get time to craft clever answers, but my goodness, his quote is just a collection of words that add up to, "I like Matty."

In addition almost all of the information from the quote it is false.  He doesn't have good stuff, at least not anymore.  He doesn't fit in the bullpen.  He doesn't need to be "up here."  If you like what you saw from Darnell, why not just keep him?  Guerrier probably did work hard, so I'll allow that.

On what planet does a rebuilding team need to make room for a reliever who is 35, has an ERA over 4 in his past three seasons and will be joining an already overstaffed bullpen?  Ignoring Guerrier as the specific player, this team just started Eduardo Escobar in left field and immediately paid for it.  Why add another arm?  I understand that Guerrier had an opt-out deadline, but I have a fairly simple solution to that problem:  let him opt out!  There's literally no harm in letting him go.  He's most certainly the worst reliever on the team right now and he's probably not as good as other guys at AAA.

That said, Gardenhire calls him "Matty" and that's pretty much all you need to know.  Managers have their guys and Gardenhire isn't the only one but he does manage my favorite team and he hasn't managed it well recently.  That's why this move actually bothers me, and little about baseball actually bothers me.  When Guerrier isn't as good as he used to be, will the team have the heart to pull the plug?

I'm about as ardent of a Twins defender as there is, but sometimes they do things that completely justify the perception that many of their fans have about them.  It's pretty hard to think that Guerrier's deal didn't come out of that "scholarship" fund that we often joke about.  It frustrates me when the team does things that makes them look so out of touch because I do defend them so often.  I can't defend this move.

The real issue comes in a few days when the Twins actually promote an outfielder.  Michael Tonkin will almost certainly be sent to Rochester and that will be a pretty big travesty (as big as a travesty can be in the baseball world).  Tonkin has earned his way onto this team and he's younger and better than Guerrier.  Tonkin gives the Twins a better chance to win games right now and he could be a useful piece when the Twins are actually ready to start winning a lot of games.  Matt Guerrier will probably be retired within a couple years.

This isn't a move that is really worth getting worked up over, but I can't help myself.  If someone can give me one logical reason why Matt Guerrier needs to be on the Twins, I'd love to hear it.  Nothing personal against Guerrier.  He was a fine reliever for the Twins in the past.  He just doesn't make sense on this roster.  Keith Atherton once did a nice job for the Twins, I wonder what he's up to?

The Tortured Minnesota Sports Fan Inventory

You've heard of the MMPI?  Well, here's the TMSFI!  You haven't heard of the MMPI.  Here:  wikipedia.  

I know, I know, this is supposed to be a Twins blog.  Really, it's hardly that at this point, but you know what I'm generally trying to do.  Thing is, with rain, days off and my own illness, I've only caught one Twins game since last weekend.  I did analyze how the Twins players look in their caps, if you're really pining for some baseball.  Read it, memorize it, recite it.  There.  Do you feel better? 

With the Minnesota Wild safely out of the first round and no possible jinxes available (I'm just pleased they beat the Avs), I thought it would be a perfect time to unveil my Tortured Minnesota Sports Fan Inventory. 

Since the Twins won the World Series in 1991, the Minnesota sports fan experience has been a repeated blow to the groin.  If you don't believe me, just check Twitter for about, say 8 seconds.  The collective fan base is so tortured and mopey, we kind of have a defeated, self-fulfilling prophecy thing going.  It would be sad if it wasn't all we had and it didn't bind us together like a family.  I guess that makes it even more sad, huh?

Oh right, the test.  It's quite simple.  You are given 3 minutes (180 seconds to those who can't multiply) to list as many post-1991 World Series heartbreaking Minnesota sports events, games, happenings and players as you can.  We're going honor system here, so if you feel the event or game or whatever is heartbreaking, then it counts.  There is no answer key.  Feel free to use any combination of Twins, Vikings, Wild/North Stars, Timberwolves and Gopher sports.  I'd include the Lynx, but they've had a pretty nice history. 

I realize the Minnesota sports fan base has been tortured since before 1991, but come on, the Twins had won their second World Series in five years at that point.  I feel like a reset button on sadness is in order after that.  If you aren't a Twins fan, then I ask you two simple questions rolled into one:  why are you reading one of the worst Twins blogs in existence and how did you get here?  You might need to re-examine some things. 

Are you ready to take my test?  The only rule is that you cannot use outside sources.  A quick Google search would lead to endless results, so why put yourself through that?  In addition, why would you want to cheat on a stupid test like this anyway? 

Are finally you ready to assess your heartbreak?  Are you really ready for all these memories to come rushing back?  Is it worth it if I tell you there are funny categories at the end?  Probably not?  Well, why not do it anyway?

Find a timer, set it for three minutes and start typing/writing.  You can do it all shorthand, just make sure you know what your scribbles mean.  When the timer goes off, you are allowed to throw up into a bucket. 

Ready?  BEGIN!

(why are you reading this?  start writing!)

Time's Up!

Now that you've taken the test, you can grade yourself!  Just count up the number of items you have written or typed.  Your personal level of heartbreak is determined by the following scale, with the levels named after prominent Minnesota Sports Goats:

• 0-5 events:  Carlos Gomez referring to Justin Morneau as "the first baseman"
• 6-10 events:  Denny Hocking's hand after the 2002 ALDS
• 11-15 events:  Joe Smith's under-the-table contract
• 16-20 events:  Gary Anderson's missed field goal in the 1998 NFC title game
• 20-25 events:  Norm Green savage heart punch to the collective North Stars fan base
• 26+ events:  Brett Favre's decision to throw across his body for an INT in the 2009 NFC title game

And there you have it.  You thought the fan base was tortured, but now we can prove it.  Which level did you fall into?  Please respond in the comments and then log off the internet for a few minutes to softly weep. 

If you're further interested...

I decided to take the assessment myself, just to see how I would do.  Remember, this is all from memory. 

My responses (again, spoilers if you haven't taken your own test).  I did clean this up a bit/add context for the reader.  My burned my actual list.

• Favre throws across his body in NFC championship game for an INT
• Gary Anderson missed FG
• Joe Smith contract
• Stephon Marbury/Ray Allen trade
• Kevin Garnett trade
• Near contraction of Twins
• Johan Santana trade
• Delmon Young trade
• Kirby Puckett passes away
• A-Rod homer off Nathan
• North Stars move to Dallas
• Freaking JS Giguere
• 41-donut
• Josh McCown to Nate Poole
• Second Randy Moss era
• Doug Risebrough drafts
• Metrodome collapses
• Fans throw batteries, hot dogs and more at Chuck Knoblauch

18 events total - Gary Anderson in the '98 NFC title game

I'm shocked, but I'm just a Gary Anderson!  I imagine that some of you met that 26-event threshold and then some.  For me, I got about 10 events out in 30 seconds and then struggled to think of the rest.  The timer makes it harder, but also makes it a true test.  If something is truly heartbreaking, it shouldn't take more than 3 minutes to remember it. 

For the record, putting Kirby Puckett's passing with those other events really gives this list perspective.  All things considered, I'd gladly take the other 17 if that one wasn't there.

Although we may not agree that each of these events are heartbreaking, we all have our own hearts.  Unless we combined hearts to create a super human.  That would be awesome/devastating. 

Which events did I miss?  I know of many more now that I have had some time to think, but I don't want to spoil the fun for others.  If nothing else, this test proves that there are infinitely better ways to spend 3 minutes.

Monday Morning Madness: May 5, 2014

Weekend Recap

I'll be honest, I only took in the Sunday game.  I had a cold or Ebola or something, so I was sleeping for most of Friday and Saturday.  Sunday's game was great.  Phil Hughes was good.  Brian Dozier was everywhere.  I didn't get to watch any of the Dodgers series either, so it was nice to come back to a win.  

Mike Pelfrey/Sam Deduno

The Twins made the right move on Friday, moving Mike Smelfry Pelfrey out of the rotation and Sam Deduno into the rotation.  This is a move I called for earlier that day and I can only imagine that Twins' officials were reading a fake mailbag and decided that was the right place to take advice.  Pelfrey was put on the disabled list with a "groin injury."  We'll address this later. 

Deduno has looked like Deduno so far this season.  He's successfully executed his high-wire act.  He has an ERA of 2.89 but a WHIP of 1.55.  His strikeout, walk and hit rates are all up from last season, but his ground ball rate has fallen significantly.  The added strikeouts are likely a product of the move to the bullpen.  I'd guess his K rate will dip and his ground ball rate will rise.  If he can limit walks better, he could have success similar to his success in 2013. 

That said, Deduno is not a long-term building block.  He's keeping a rotation spot warm for a better pitcher.  Stop crying, that doesn't mean you can't root for him.  Here are just three facts to remember as you enjoy your Deduno:

• Sam Deduno is not young.  He'll be 31 in July.  He's older than Mike Pelfrey.
• Sam Deduno does not throw hard.  He hasn't thrown a fastball higher than 92 this year. 
• Sam Deduno is not "effectively wild."  That does not exist.  Deduno is effective because he induces a lot of ground balls.  He's inconsistent because he's wild.  He's not magic.

Watch Your Head:  Falling Averages Everywhere!

Offenses across the league are starting to heat up, but the Twins are employing the opposite tactic.  Just one Twins' regular is currently hitting above .300 (Kurt Suzuki).  Most of the Twins regulars were hitting above .300 just one week ago.  That said, if you add Pedro Florimon's .113 batting average to any given player, they're all above .300, so that's something!

On the positive, the Twins are still walking at an impressive rate, so their offense hasn't completely cratered.  Entering Sunday's game, the Twins had fallen to 4th in the American League in runs scored.  Unfortunately, they were still tied for third in runs allowed, so the dip in offense has really hurt.  Not surprisingly, the Twins lost 4 of 6 this week. 

I still hold out a crazy sense of hope that the rotation will get it together (this weekend was pretty nice), so the offense can fall a bit and the team should still be able to win about as often as they lose.  Plus, I still think the Twins' hitters are accomplished enough to carry the team for games at a time.  Of course, if my hope is misguided, then we're all in for a long summer.      

Aaron Hicks

No analysis here, I want wish Aaron Hicks a speedy recovery.  Concussions are obviously scary, so I hope Hicks takes his time and comes back when he's fully ready.  Don't mess with your brain, it's not worth it.

Madness

Former Twin Update - Drew Butera

I'm pretty sure the Dodgers were trolling the Twins last week.  They started Drew Butera not once, but twice, in the three-game series.  He finished the series with nine plate appearances.  Say you polled Twins fans prior to the series with the following question:  How many times will Drew Butera reach base given nine plate appearances in this upcoming series?  I would guess that 99% of fans would answer with 0 or fewer, defying math. 

Instead, Butera reached base three times, scored twice, singled, walked and actually hit a home run, his first career home run (just kidding, he has 6).  Years of derision from Twins fans and Butera had simply had enough.  Butera mad, Butera smash. 

Mike Pelfrey-related Questions from Readers

Q1 - Mike Pelfrey is on his way out of the rotation, or already out. Is the bullpen his next stop? If so, who gets sent down?

One more! Pelfrey unfortunately may have an effect on this as well. Does Matt Guerrier make his way into the Twins bullpen anytime soon?

Thank you,

Jarren Duffy

Q2 - Was Mike Pelfrey put on the DL with a groin injury or a "Groin Injury (wink wink)?" Is there any oversight from the MLB to make sure that injuries are legitimate when a player is put on the DL so it isn't just used as a place to stash an underperforming player?

Thanks!

Erik Williams, Puckett's Pond

I received two questions this weekend and both were Mike Pelfrey-related!  I'm going to try to answer everything all at once.  Pelfrey has never been a good pitcher.  However, he's never been this bad either.  I would guess he does have some sort of nagging injury and hopefully this DL stint will take care of it.  The fact remains that Pelfrey is under contract for the rest of this season and next season as well.  Therefore, the Twins will give him at least one more chance. 

I wonder if the bullpen is a better place for him.  He does throw relatively hard, so maybe he could amp things up even more if he only needs to go an inning or two.  Who knows?  I don't think Matt Guerrier makes it back to Minnesota.  He's behind too many players, in my opinion.  Although, the Twins do like to get the band back together...  

As for stashing crappy players on the DL, I'm sure it is against the rules, but it would be very hard to prove.  Unless they really want to get elbow-deep into Pelfrey's groin, I would guess MLB takes the team doctors at their word. 

Random Top Six - UZR

UZR is an advanced defensive metric that I'm sure a bunch of people hate.  I think that the metric works pretty well, but I can't explain it without adding about 1000 words to this post.  Here's a link to FanGraphs, where you can learn more about how UZR is calculated and what goes into measuring it.  Here are the top six players in the Majors by UZR, through Saturday:

1. Jason Heyward - 8.3
2. Mike Trout - 6.8
3. Alex Gordon - 5.8
4. Abraham Almonte - 4.7
5. Zack Cozart - 4.0
6. Brian Dozier - 3.7

Why top six?  Who cares after the Twins player, right?  Brian Dozier is a transcendent player and person.  I'm in love. 

Half-Hearted Rant - Danny Santana

Why is Danny Santana just rotting on the Twins' bench?  With Aaron Hicks and Mike Pelfrey on the DL, the Twins needed a pitcher and a batter.  Logan Darnell took Sam Deduno's spot in the rotation and Santana has apparently been summoned to eat sunflower seeds.  This is a young kid who needs playing time.  If Ron Gardenhire, often referred to as "Gardy," can't figure this out, then someone needs to step in and figure it out for him!  

I understand that the Twins didn't have any other options to add to the roster.  Oswaldo Arcia isn't ready to come off his rehab assignment.  Eduardo Nunez is hurt.  Kennys Vargas, Jorge Polanco and Max Kepler aren't ready for the Majors.  Fine.  Here's an idea though:  let Santana play!  Could he possibly hit worse than Pedro Florimon?  Are we worried he might break one of Florimon's bats?  Florimon barely uses them anyway.  If he went up to the plate with two drumsticks tied together, he'd be just as likely to get a hit. 

Get this guy off the pine, Gardy!

KWL Chart - Sam Fuld

Shameless Self-Promotion

I wrote some stuff last week.  On Friday, I answered some of my own questions.  I addressed the Mike Pelfrey situation and the Twins responded just a few hours later.  What other changes are we in store for?  Why not just read the mailbag and find out!  In addition, make sure to check out the blog on Wednesday.  I'm dabbling in writing tests.  This test determines how tortured you are as a Minnesota sports fan.  That sounds fun, doesn't it?  Find out Wednesday!

Parting Haiku

Pedro Florimon

It is time for you to go

Eddie 400

Have a nice week, everyone!

Maylbag

There comes a time every month where a blogger has to write a fake mailbag.  I like to do mine on the first Friday of the month.  It's tradition and it's the way I've always done things and that's good enough for me.  This month, I have some really fun questions that I asked myself.  Most of them came around 3am.  I must be lonely.  That song is awful.  Let's start!

Why is calling up an extra position player for a doubleheader ever a good decision, except in retrospect?

Eric Pleiss, Talk to Contact Podcast co-host, general good guy.

It's not a good decision.  The Twins did this in their first doubleheader of 2014, calling up Eduardo Nunez for the twin bill.  On one hand, they doubled their Eduardos.  On the other hand, they added a position player that wasn't as valuable as a pitcher considering the situation.  For a doubleheader, it only makes sense to add a pitcher.  A spot starter makes the most sense, much like the Twins did yesterday with Kris Johnson.  They learned from their earlier mistake although they now have fewer Eduardos than I am comfortable with.  It's a real conundrum.  

Which April performance was most surprising?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

For most, it was Chris Colabello.  NOT FOR ME!  I predicted that Colabello would hit more home runs than Josh Willingham in 2014 and that prediction is looking pretty swell right now.  I'm so proud of myself.  I bought some Lemonheads to celebrate. 

To answer the question, Kurt Suzuki has been most surprising to me.  I thought he was cooked.  I thought that he was basically a backup catcher miscast as a starting catcher.  I have no delusions that Suzuki will maintain a 126 OPS+, but if he can just hover around league-average offensively, his signing will have been a great success.  Perhaps I should buy everyone in the Twins' front office some Lemonheads. 

Who is your favorite Twins player from the 90s?  And I'm not talking about anyone who played in the 90s.  It had to be someone who played the most significant portion of their career in the 90s.  No cheating!

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

The easy answer is Chuck Knoblauch.  Or maybe Brad Radke.  The cheating answer is Kirby Puckett.  I was specifically told "no cheating" though.   I really liked Pat Meares for some reason.  My memory is fuzzy, but I feel like he was built up by broadcasters or something because I really liked him and I can't figure out why.  I look at his career stats and he didn't hit home runs and he didn't drive in runs, so it wasn't a baseball card thing.  He didn't have any big moments that I am aware of.  He was never the best player on the team. 

So I guess my question to all of you is:  did you like Pat Meares?  Please respond in the comments or chalk my driveway.

In your opinion, which Twins player wears his cap the best?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Oh man, it's so funny that you ask that question right now.  I literally just posted my analysis of how some prominent Twins players wear their caps.  Weird!  Random!  Here's the link.  Spoiler alert:  Glen Perkins' cap game is impressive. 

Why won't you get on board and rip Mauer?

Mom, St. Paul, MN

My mom didn't actually ask this question, but she does dislike Joe Mauer for no good reason.  Ripping Mauer is tedious, that's why.  Every criticism of Mauer is a relative criticism based on his salary or his lack of RBIs or his sideburns.  It gets old.  Defending Mauer actually seems to put me in the minority which is so odd because he's basically the Twins' best position player since Kirby Puckett. 

The anti-Mauer argument usually hinges on Mauer showing more "fire" or changing his approach.  I don't see how those are fair requests, but I guess his salary kind of makes him an easy target.  That said, he's been disappointing this season.  I thought that with regular at-bats, he'd get into grooves and put together some fun hitting streaks.  That hasn't happened yet, but I'd bet my Lemonheads that it will happen at some point this season.  He's too talented and he's not that old.  I'm going to be patient. 

With Trevor May and Alex Meyer pitching well for Rochester and with Sam Deduno pitching well in the bullpen and with Mike Pelfrey and Kevin Correia pitching slow pitch softball, what would your current Twins' rotation look like right now?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

What an insightful question!  My five would be Ricky Nolasco, Phil Hughes, Kyle Gibson, Correia and Deduno.  I've basically reached a boiling point with Mike Pelfrey.  He'd be in my bullpen, or with my AAA team or not on my team at all if it weren't for that ridiculous contract that pays him for next season.  Why did I sign him for two years!  I'm willing to be a bit more patient with Correia because he was decent last year.  Pelfrey had a good month.  Cool.  Don't forget how excited the other team's fans were when Pelfrey signed with Minnesota.

I'm not ready to call for the kids just yet.  I think Deduno can fill in just fine for a few more weeks.  In June, I'd probably replace Correia with whoever is pitching better between May and Meyer (likely Meyer).  Deduno isn't a long-term piece, so he can be replaced at some point as well.  I don't really care when it happens, but I hope that by the end of the season the Twins' rotation is Nolasco, Hughes, Gibson, Meyer and May. 

If that happens, this season will be a huge success IMO.  IMO stands for in my office.  I like to write successes on the walls in my office.  IN BLOOOOOOOD.  Just kidding, pencil. 

With the rousing success of your #Eddie400 movement, what will be your next campaign?

Brad S., St. Paul, MN

As I write this sentence, Eduardo Escobar is hitting .324/.351/.412.  Pedro Florimon would need five bats to reach those figures.  Escobar is only on pace for 233 plate appearances, but I expect that number to start to rise because Pedro Florimon can't hit his weight and he's pretty skinny.  I'm about as smug as I can get right now.  My head is swollen.  I did step into a beehive though.

Thus, I need something new to harp on.  As you may recall, one of the Twins' AAA catchers follows me on Twitter.  Dan Rohlfing became my favorite player when he clicked that fateful button.  I'm willing to bet that he's really appreciated the dance video analysis, the fake mailbags, cap-wearing shenanigans and all the other weird stuff that I think of at 3am. 

My new campaign is simple.  I call it, "Rohlfing's September in Minnesota."  I want Mr. Rohlfing to be a part of the 2014 September callups.  I'm going to flesh this out in more detail in the future, but for now, I just want to see a guy with 8 years of experience in the Twins' organization rewarded with the realization of what I assume is his professional dream.  He seems like a good guy (based on Twitter, we've never talked) and you can never have too many catchers.  Let's all get on board with this one. 

That's it!  I'm out of questions to ask myself.  If you happen to have a question for a future mailbag, please send me an email at kevinsloweywasframed@gmail.com.  I will be so excited that I probably won't wait a month to answer it.  Have a great weekend, everyone!