The real Jack Morris HOF case

Hello all.  Jack Morris is a lightning rod.  His Hall of Fame case is one of the most hotly debated cases in history.  Sure, there's his 1980's dominance, his 1991 Game 7 World Series performance and his overall bulldog persona.  However, if you're still on the Morris Fence, please use these GIFs to make your ultimate decision:

Please adjust your votes accordingly.

Minnesota Twins POWER RANKINGS: January 6, 2014

Ah the first POWER RANKINGS of 2014.  A chance to reset and start anew.  Enough chat, let's dance.  

10.  Avoiding Stephen Drew

Earlier this week, MLB Trade Rumors listed a few teams that could use Stephen Drew.  Here's the link.  The Twins were listed but the writer didn't think the Twins would be willing to give up the #43 pick and supplant Pedro Florimon.  If I were the Twins, I'd avoid Drew like he was an open jar of mayonnaise left in the sun.  The last three seasons he's hit .245/.322/.403, or a 97 OPS+.  That's an upgrade over Florimon, no doubt and Drew handles the position pretty well himself.  However, I can't get past that draft pick.  The Twins are still rebuilding and still need to amass assets.  I'd rather spend the money elsewhere and keep that pick.

Plus, they already have Eduardo Escobar on roster, so why do they need Drew anyway?  Remember:

9.  Jesse Crain

Hey, former Twins pitcher Jesse Crain got a job.  He signed with the Astros last week, which is a bit like an accomplished chef agreeing to run the grill at Hardee's.  He'll get paid $3.25 million to make his Grillburgers though.  Crain was outstanding last year, finishing his 36.2 inning season with an ERA+ of 586.  lol  I'd guess that the Astros will use Crain as the closer and then use him as trade bait.  If he has 20-25 saves in late July, the Astros could really cash in.  I love that strategy and if the Twins didn't employ an awesome closer already, I'd be cool with the Twins following this very same plan.    

8.  Joe Benson

Benson signed a Minor League deal with the Miami Marlins last week, which is a bit like an accomplished chef agreeing to run the grill at Hardee's.  Except, Benson is probably just happy to not have to actually work at Hardee's.  The Twins jettisoned Benson in May of 2013.  The Rangers snatched him up, sent him to AA and then DFA'd him in September.  There is a legitimate avenue for Benson to play for the Marlins in 2014.  They suck, for one.  Their other fourth outfielder options aren't strong either.  Benson will be just 26 and still has an entire belt filled with tools.  I'd love to see him succeed.  The Marlins will probably sell him for a soda machine if they get the chance. 

7.  GIFs

Without the Monday Morning Madness, I have no avenue to drool all over how much I love McCovey Chronicles' Grant Brisbee.  He's a genius.  I wish I could draw his nose.  Anyway, he released his 2013 GIFs of the year.  It's a six-part series and the GIFs are outstanding.  They're made even better because Brisbee expands on the images with his deft humor.  Check these out because they are great. 

Pro tip:  Let all the GIFs load before you try to watch them.  Then, you can hover over one at a time and your computer won't melt. 

6.  Justin Turner hates the Eddie 400

So I hate him.  Wait, hate is such a strong word.  Let's just say I think he's a meanie-head.  The Twins seem to be linked to Turner and that makes a lot of sense.  Turner would be a nice fit as a utility player.  He played all four infield positions for the Mets last season.  He posted a 100 OPS+, he rates "fine" as a defender and he has a bushy, red beard.  Screw him.  The Twins have Eduardo Escobar and he's 4 years younger and making almost no money.  Escobar may never post a 100 OPS+ in his career, but man can he smile. 

Of course, if signing Turner keeps the Twins away from Drew, then I might warm to the idea and create The Turner 400. 

5.  Johan Santana

Santana is still unemployed and that is bonkers.  The Twins were recently tied to Santana but have reportedly not made him an offer.  I have one piece of advice for the Twins:

MAKE HIM AN EFFING OFFER!

This is Johan Santana.  He won two Cy Youngs with the Twins and should have won a third.  Seriously, Bartolo Colon probably ate his.  THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN JOHAN'S.  I will never get over that.  The Twins don't really need Santana, but if he's available on a Minor League deal with only the promise of helping him rehab to get ready for a mid-season return, he's worth it.  He's one of the five best players in Twins' history and he has a delightful personality.  I want Johan. 

That sounded gross.

4.  Top 10 Twins Videos of 2013

Parker Hageman of Twins Daily posted the top ten video moments of 2013.  It was a really fun look back at a really not fun season.  There were some fun moments though.  Most of the video is in GIF form, so it's pretty easy to digest.  Number 1 is quite amusing and reminded me that I really want some Pizza Rolls right now.

3.  Matt Garza's tires

Twins Again Kicking Tires On Matt Garza http://t.co/d7p89DO90g #mlb
— MLB Trade Rumors (@mlbtraderumors) January 2, 2014

This tweet sent me into a frenzy.  I think Garza would take the Twins' off-season from an A- to an A+ and I don't really give that grade out.  I responded with some tweets of my own but since no one follows me on Twitter, a bunch of spambots are the only beings who know how I truly feel. 

Basically, I feel that his 2011 season was dynamic.  He posted an excellent strikeout rate, an elite walk rate and a solid ground ball rate.  Those three combined make for an extremely effective pitcher.  He was basically just as good in 2012, but was undone a bit by a home run to fly ball rate above 16%.  That's high.  In 2013, his groundball rate dipped nearly 8 points.  I'm not sure why, but it seems that it was tied to the fact that batters crushed his fastball in 2013 after not hitting that pitch very well in 2011 and 2012.

Cause for concern?  I don't think so.  According to FanGraphs' PitchF/x, Garza's fastball velocity and movement were right in line with the prior two seasons.  The better contact against his fastball could be a one-year issue or tied to his injury recovery or just a fluke.  No matter what, Garza would be the Twins best starter and would likely be their best starter for a couple years.  The 2014 rotation would be good and the 2015 rotation would be set too. 

The Twins gave Ricky Nolasco 4 years and $49 million.  I'd give Garza 4 years and $64 million.  The team has the money and they won't have guys like Garza available to sign next Winter.  I see three potential 2015 free agent starters who are better than Garza:  Max Scherzer, Clayton Kershaw and Homer Bailey.  Kershaw and Scherzer are very likely to be extended before next October.  That leaves Bailey all alone with tons of suitors.  Bailey is outstanding, but Garza's here now. 

2.  Joe Mauer's stance on milk

Good gravy, Randball's Stu at Twinkie Town wrote a piece that is just outstanding.  It's satire and parody and it's brilliant.  I'm not going to spoil any of it, so you just need to click here and read it.  Spoil.  Get it?

Like milk.

1.  Masahiro Tanaka

As promised, Tanaka remains number 1 on the POWER RANKINGS and will remain number 1 until he signs with the Twins.  Then, I retire the number 1 spot forever, Tanaka wins multiple Cy Youngs and he and I embrace at the mound when the Twins win the 2017 World Series.  It's going to be beautiful. 

And, I didn't even put him in a dress this week!

Have a great week, everyone!

Who wore it best - Minnesota Twins edition!

Oh boy, we've hit a milestone.  This is my 250th post here at KSlow was Framed!  Therefore, I felt it imperative to really nail this important post in the blog's history.  I thought about doing a career retrospective or an autobiography or something.  Perhaps an oral history?  Yeah, I could interview people who contributed to the trials and tribulations.  I could get all kinds of quotes and put together the elaborate web that lead to this madness.  It would be an apt way to celebrate such an event.

But then, that all seemed like a whole lot of work.

Instead, here are five Twins players in hot dog suits.  Please use the poll at the end to determine who wore it best.  Thanks.

Joe Mauer

Brian Dozier

Sam Deduno

Glen Perkins

Eduardo Escobar

Who wore it best - Hot Dog suit?

First Mailbag of 2014!!!!!

My one resolution for 2014 is to answer more fake questions.  If someone (me) is going to go to the trouble of asking a question, the least I can do is answer it.  In addition, I'm going to answer the really tough questions that others are too scared to tackle.  In fact, 2014 is the year of answering the tough questions.  I won't be afraid of what the answers reveal.  I intend to get to know myself better through this exercise.  It's going to be quite cathartic and important, really.  Most importantly, we need to get off on the right foot with a really important question.           

What type of food is each Twins player?

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

We're off!  I'll flesh this out in more detail in the future.  I might even devote a full post to it and possibly create some stupid photoshops.  That said, I'll provide some of the easier answers:

• Joe Mauer:  Wonder Bread.  Kind of goes without saying.
• Brian Dozier:  Penne Arrabiata.  Spicy, good-looking, complex, yet traditional and non-threatening.
• Glen Perkins:  Tremendous Twelve.  Just outstanding, lots of variety, affordable, very filling.
• Mike Pelfrey:  Burnt Popcorn.  Some people actually like it; the result of taking too much time.
• Sam Deduno:  McRib.  Bounces between available and not available, saucy, incites excitement, makes some people crazy, not really very good.

Hi-yo.  What do you think the lineup will look like at the beginning of next season?  How about 2015?  Thanks, I'm a huge man.  

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

That's a very excellent and timely question.  It's possible that the Twins could still add one more position player who could weasel his way into the starting lineup.  Of course, I'm not sure the Opening Day lineup will change much, as our current skipper tends to err on the side of sentimentality/tradition.  Therefore, here is what I expect in 2014:

Alex Presley, CF

Brian Dozier, 2B

Joe Mauer, 1B (still looks weird)

Josh Willingham, LF

Oswaldo Arcia, RF

Trevor Plouffe, 3B

Josmil Pinto, DH

Kurt Suzuki, C

Pedro Florimon, SS

Nothing shocking, and I could see Plouffe hitting ahead of Arcia for those sentimental reasons.  Pinto and Suzuki are in the lineup because I think the Twins like Pinto's bat, but won't trust his defense initially.  Florimon's there, but I don't think he'll be there for long (more on that later).  Presley should hold off Aaron Hicks for a couple months, but I expect Hicks to tear up AAA because I am very irrational about him.  As for 2015, I foresee a couple of changes:

Aaron Hicks, CF

Brian Dozier, 2B

Joe Mauer, 1B

Oswaldo Arcia, LF

Miguel Sano, 3B

Josmil Pinto, C

Trevor Plouffe, DH

Alex Presley, RF

Eduardo Escobar, SS

Obviously, I prefer Escobar to Florimon, Hicks to Presley and Sano to Plouffe.  Unless the Twins sign some free agents, these are the guys who should be on the Opening Day roster in 2015.  I believe Sano will be ready but Byron Buxton will be a midseason entry.  Sano is a better defender than Plouffe and Hicks has better range than Presley (Hicks has a vastly superior RF arm too, but range > arm).  If Eddie Rosario plays like gangbusters upon return from his suspension (and plays in the outfield), he could supplant Presley, but I don't see that happening. 

Which player do you want to see more of in '14?

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Take a look at my starting shortstop in 2015.  I want to see much more of Eduardo Escobar next season.  In fact, I'm starting "The Eddie 400" and I won't stop writing/talking about it until it is apparent that Escobar has no chance of getting 400 at bats.  I would love to see Escobar get 400 at bats next season.  I'm not really sure that he's good, but I am quite certain that he can hit at least as well as Pedro Florimon.  Plus, he's two years younger and might be an even better defender.  Even if the Twins are happy with Florimon, I'd love to see Escobar get some starts at 3rd and enhance the team defense. 

Next week, I plan to fully outline "The Eddie 400."  I'll outline all of the reasons why I'm smitten with Mr. Escobar.  I just really hope that someone calls him "Eddie" or this whole thing is quite loony. 

There are rumors that the Twins are interested in Johan Santana.  How does that make you feel?

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Don't ruin my New Year, Twins.  Make this happen.

What is the core of the Twins team?

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

The core has to contain the players who will lead the team to glory.  Guys like Brian Dozier and Glen Perkins are great and nice and super, but they aren't really core players.  Dozier is good, but not great.  Perkins is great, but fills a role that can be filled much more easily than other roles.  So, the Twins core is Joe Mauer, Oswaldo Arcia, Miguel Sano, Bryon Buxton and Alex Meyer.

Obviously, only two of those players have MLB experience.  There is a lot riding on Buxton, Sano and Meyer.  If all three reach their ceilings, the Twins will have an insane core.  If two of three pan out, the core will still be great.  Perish the thought, but if all three crap out, well...let's just not think that way.  That core is excellent, but one more pitcher would be nice.  I'm actively wooing Masahiro Tanaka in my weekly POWER RANKINGS.  Check out my Rankin's here.  Tanaka would be a nice sixth in that core. 

What's your Pelfrey problem?

 ~ Brad S., St. Paul, MN

Ah, nothing really.  He seems very nice and he'll be great at the back of the rotation.  Calling him burnt popcorn will be my final jab at Pelfrey.  At least until he starts pitching.  Then, I might have to start in on him, just to pass the time between pitches. 

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Minnesota Twins New Years Resolutions

It is customary to make resolutions for yourself going into a new year.  It is less customary to make resolutions for other people.  In fact, it's quite arrogant.  I'm doing it anyway!  I have New Year's Resolutions for a few members of the Minnesota Twins and rather than sending them to each person individually, I'll just trust that each of these people are frequent readers of this very small, unknown blog.  I'm posting at 12:01 am on New Year's Day, to give everyone as much time as possible to meet their goals.  ONWARD!

Ron Gardenhire - Accentuate the positives

C'mon man.  There's nothing wrong with a little platooning.  It's really fun.  I promise.  There are some really great players on the team and there are some really great half players too.  Trevor Plouffe is Sly Stallone against left-handed pitching.  He's Frank Stallone against right-handers.  Now, Plouffe doesn't really have a platoon partner on roster, and that isn't Gardy's fault.  However, sitting Plouffe against right-handed pitching from time to time won't hurt he lineup.  In fact, you could plug Eduardo Escobar in at third, get similar offense and a huge boost in defense.  It's really quite sublime.  Just be open, Gardy.   

Trevor Plouffe - Summon your inner Cuddy

Speaking of Mr. Plouffe, I'd like to see him assume that Michael Cuddyer role as the vocal team leader.  Plouffe seems to have the personality for it.  He's active on Twitter and seems to be at the fore-front of the new Twins welcoming committee.  He seems pretty smart and he once had nice hair.  Plouffe has some MLB experience under his belt and can play the veteran card without being laughed out of the clubhouse.  Cuddyer's OPS+ in his first two full seasons (99) was actually slightly lower than Plouffe's (100).  If Gardenhire sits Plouffe versus tough righties too, his overall performance could improve.  If his performance, personality and experience can hit that "Cuddy level" he could become a valuable "clubhouse guy" and keep his Twins career afloat.    

Joe Mauer - Sacrifice some contact

We've all heard the notion that if Mauer sacrificed some contact he could hit more home runs.  I'm not sure I buy it, but why not just try it?  Wouldn't it be grand if Mauer transitioned to first base and just started launching bombs out of Target Field?  Wouldn't your jaw just drop?  What would the nay-sayers say to nay Joe any longer?  What would the pleebs think if wimpy Joe stopped looping singles over the shortstop's head and started stroking dingers over the right field fence?  It would be especially nice to see him get his bat off his shoulder and stop walking all the time!

Brandon Moss hit 30 home runs last year.  He slugged .522 and he's barely on the radar, much less a former MVP.  Mauer hit just 11 home runs and slugged only .476.  Gutless.  Ignore the fact that Mauer's OBP was nearly 70 points higher and therefore he made outs at a much lower rate.  Ignore it.  Come on, Joe.  Become a worse hitter so we can see more home runs hit.  It will be outstanding.    

Mike Pelfrey - Speed up

This one is quite simple.  Pelfrey works as quickly as a turtle covered in Nutella.  All of my judgments regarding Pelfrey come down to the fact that it takes him 45 minutes to throw a pitch.  I can cook a roast during one of his innings.  His games are longer than Gandhi.  I've even joined an exaggeration club to try to pass the time between his pitches.  Pelfrey is a fine pitcher and I know that the Twins got a good deal because he will throw many innings.  I just hope that he can make a slight adjustment and ensure that those innings move a little more quickly.   

Brian Dozier, Aaron Hicks, Oswaldo Arcia, Josmil Pinto and Kyle Gibson - Work hard

Hey youngsters.  Each of these players had varying success in 2013.  Dozier broke out.  Arcia made a lot of "O's" with his arms.  Pinto had a September to remember.  Gibson and Hicks played baseball.  These guys help form the core of the Minnesota Twins.  I don't want to see any of these guys with giant guts in Spring Training.  No odd hair or gauges or anything like that either.  Just work hard and play well.  Everyone on this list is very talented and should have no issue helping the 2014 Twins.  Everyone stick to lean chicken and keep the hair neat.  Except Dozier, he can feel free to grow that luscious mane out. 

Sam Deduno - Stay healthy

I'm not going to label Deduno "injury prone" because he's really only been around for a season and a half.  However, since the beginning of 2012, Deduno has missed time with a non-disclosed injury, a left irritation (?), a groin, a right arm and a right shoulder.  This is all according to Baseball Prospectus.  I don't buy Deduno at all.  I don't think he'll be effective over a full season and I don't believe in magic.  That said, he did look pretty striking last season and I would like to see what he could do with a full season's worth of innings.  So, stay healthy my man. 

Twins Fans - Keep perspective

I'll also add "calm down" to this resolution.  The Twins are going to be better in 2014.  Then, they are going to be even better in 2015.  The MLB team has actual quality starting pitchers now, the farm system is loaded and the holdovers like Mauer, Arcia and Dozier are great.  That said, they won't be much better in 2014.  They might win just 70 games instead of 66.  In 2015, they might just reach .500.  That said, the Twins are building for the long-term and there might be some hiccups in the short-term.  If they lose 7 games in a row next season, don't cry.  If they scuffle in August and September, try not to swear at your TV.  Building a winner takes time.  The Twins are making moves toward that goal.  It's all going to be ok.  The lean days are winding down. 

Me - Achieve blog balance

I really enjoy writing about the Twins.  I want this blog to be fun and I think that I have achieved that goal.  I have fun anyway.  However, I've been writing a lot more than I had planned to.  I'm going to try to keep myself to three posts per week at most.  However, the poll on the right indicates that some people and dogs might enjoy a podcast, so I'm going to start working on that.  Look for it in March.  Unless I get lazy.  I typically get lazy.  Happy New Year, everyone!